Magic Dust
I don’t feel appreciated
Let’s put a little Magic Dust on that. Feeling unseen wears through slowly, and it hardens into something else if nobody names it.
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The ebb and flow of relationships: why love has never been 50/50
Few ideas about relationships are as popular, or as misleading, as the belief that healthy partnerships should always be 50/50.
Best match
Free, today
Free · on this site · no email needed
What is my relationship capacity score?
Thirty-two questions about how many tabs you have open, what recovers, and what is left for the two of you. No email needed to see the result.
Free · on this site · no email needed
What is it actually like to be in a relationship with you?
Your partner has an answer. These twenty-four questions might help you find yours. No email needed to see the result.
Free · on this site · no email needed
Do I have any relationship red flags?
Fifteen questions about the habits that show up when you are stressed, scared, angry or deeply attached. No email needed to see the result.
Free · PDF · 5 pages
The Red Flag, Green Flag Decoder
Ten patterns to take seriously, ten to build on, and five worth keeping an eye on.
Free · on this site · no email needed
The Check-In
Twenty questions about how things actually are right now. Three minutes, nobody watching, no right answers.
Worth reading
Writing · 10 min read
Women aren't giving up on love. They're giving up on the deal.
Women have not suddenly stopped wanting love, companionship, sex, marriage or families. What appears to be changing is their willingness to accept a relationship that asks them to earn like a modern equal and still serve like a traditional wife.
Writing · 3 min read
The peacock in the relationship: when being seen becomes more important than seeing
A peacock is impossible to ignore. With its brilliant feathers, dramatic display, and commanding presence, it naturally draws attention. It is beautiful, captivating, and impossible to miss.
Writing · 7 min read
Don't lose yourself in the life you built
There is a particular kind of disappearing that can happen when you become a mother. It does not happen dramatically. It happens in tiny increments.
Writing · 9 min read
Love without self-abandonment
There is an idea about romantic love that sounds beautiful until you examine what it can ask people to give up: that if you really love someone, they become your whole world.
Writing · 8 min read
Your partner should add capacity to your life, not become another thing you have to manage
We talk a lot about what we want in a partner. There is another question we should be asking far more often: does being with this person increase your capacity, or consume it?
Writing · 8 min read
What does it actually feel like to be loved well?
There is a version of love we talk about constantly because it is easy to photograph. Some of the strongest signs of a good relationship never make it into the picture.
Writing · 4 min read
Do you do these 10 things in your marriage?
10 timeless principles for a healthy, happy, and lasting marriage
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